Would you mind to share happiness with me?

Today i feel new hope. A new hope to get a boyfriend. Well, no one know the real story between me and him. and i hope that both of you can listen to me and share my happiness. where should i start the story of me and him? oh ya... lets start from him....

His name is Kevin Chan. i know him through friendster and he is also my friend's ex bf. when he knows me, he didnt know that i am his ex gf's friend. (but i know! hahaha!). after a few weeks he found out and he asked me, i deny that i know this incident. he told me if he knew that im his ex gf's friend, he not going to friend with me. sound complicated? lets think it in a simple way, just ignore the past.So, we are friends that randomly met in friendster.

he got two jobs, morning and night. in the morning, he is working for the bank to lelong house and at the night he is a disc jockey in sky bar. he is 23 year old but look slightly older, people always said that he is 27 year old. LOL. his birthday is on 4th of February, an Aquarius guy. i always admired Aquarius girls and guys cause i found some strength inside their blood, they are independent and they have their own thinking. they do what they like to do! by not breaking any rules la...

currently our status is just still friends, may be good friends. we are not sure to each other, we are still observing each other. i promise i wouldnt take any action before he takes. hahahahaha. he is a nice guy, very generous, outgoing, knowledgeable( in some sense). he just got what i want. in this case, i standing at the disadvantage situation because i like him more than he likes me. everyday i thinking the possibility of together with him. me - so silly.

this never happened to me before, i dream of him for almost 4 times a week, i think i dream of him again last night. i still remember the first time i dream of him, my head is putting on his shoulder, he ask me gentlemanly, " are you sleepy? if you sleepy just lie on my thigh." then i just move my head and lie on his thigh. hahahahah. the second dream, i went shopping with him and he holds my hand! *giggle* But all this is just a dream, dream is dream, fact is fact. every time i woke up after those dream, i feel down. i thinking, "why it is not real?"

we knew each other from 23 september, one and half month only, but i feel like we are so close to each other. i bought his mother the salty chicken and pamelo but at that time his mother dont know my exist. i wondering why he keep calling me brother, brother but he always ask me out for dinner or movie. at the beginning, we met each oth 2 times a week, and last week we met 3 times a week, and this week, i met him on monday and tuesday. quite frequent.

last wednesday, i was bored at home and butt itchy coz deepavali eve, so is a must to hang out since the next day is holiday. so i told him i going to sky bar and look for him, im just too bored to stay at home. well, i brought Boon along with me. after he finish working, 3 of us went to McD. they are like brothers, keep talking and talking and almost forgot my exist. :-( there is something weird happened when they talking. Boon = B, Kevin = K

B: do u know kevin, please dont let kiki drink coffee or else she will get mad.
K:....
B: oh ya! if she bully you, you can throw bean sprout into the food then she wouldnt eat it!
K:....
B: in addition, she afraid of worms, you can bully her by using worms.
K: o...kay...
K:...

hahahaha~ doesnt it sound weird?

After that, me and kevin went out on saturday night, actually we plan to hang out with his friends but then all his friends are not free, so left me and him only. We went to luna bar, only TWO of us. hahahaha. you can see my pic below

the 4TH pic.

after that, i suggested to go Genting, then he said okay. hahahaha. then we went Genting. We had a drink at coffee bean and i accidentally drop my drink(hot chocolate) on his jacket ( he let me to wear his jacket and he is almost freezing that time :-)) So, i have to clean his jacket. and he is going to collect it on Monday.

Monday, he came to Sg long and collect the jacket and he knew that i cook the "ma tai" dessert so i said i give your mum and you only can drink it if your mum left. hahaha, i think he is quite jealous lo. And i bought JCO to him too. And guess what? when he came to my place that time, he bring a "pig stomach" soup! which his mother cook and said that it is for me!!! very nutritious! hahahaha.

Then the next day, he called me and said his mum wanna return the container to me, so when he came that time, he pass the container to me. When i hold it i feel something inside, OMG! is tong shui! His mum cook apple dessert and give me some! hahahaha~ yea~ i got some status in his mum's heart already ( if i think positively). when i said positive mean there is also a negative thinking which is for Chinese culture, if you want to return the box to other, it is not good to give a empty box, so she have to put "something" inside and return to me. hm.... i wish the 1st assumption is the truth. hahahaha!

Actually i give 2 container to him, one is for him and one is for his mum. But he give his godmother one and he share with his mum. so there is one more container left at his godmother place. he told me his godmother going to cook tong shui also, but i cant eat because i balik kampung already, lucky... ( i wondering why he need to put the word "lucky", can give some comment?)

I always give him morning call, because he always sleep late and cant wake up, and he claimed that the alarm is useless for him. sound sweet? hahahaha

The only thing i worry is that im just a substitute girlfriend for him. while his life is bored and friends around him also got pak tol or married. i know that his job is attracting many pretty but i also wish that he is mature enough to think about it. he told me before, pretty is not the main acquirement for him to choose girlfriend. But as i know, he likes girl that have a pair of beautiful eyes. Guys.... ish....

i asked him to teach me more dishes since last time he taught me tomyam and the chicken that i cook to you guys. he said he want to teach me seafood, but he told me before he cant eat seafood cause he is allergic to seafood. then i ask him dont cook but he still want to cook. well, i looking forward to cook with him again. :-)

to be continue.....

continue on 26th dec 07.
is this the end? im in bad mood this few days. i knew that, everytime when there are lots of activities i sure depressed. i didnt notice that before, i thought i was just too "over", i thought is normal, but then the fact is before all the activities start, i already depressed. i worry the day to come, the day when all the activities finished. i scare to be alone, i scare i make mistake, i scare i regret. i always wanted to be strong, i dont want to rely on anything or anybody. for example, the tom yam guy. at first, my tactic is to make him cant live without me, but at the end, im the one who cant let it go. well, u guys know me, may be someday when the new semester start, i got another target, hehe, time will tell.

His status in facebook is "its complicated", i dont know how complicated it is, i dont dare to ask. and i already make the move, but he seems like no reaction, so i think is the time for me to put down. i give myself for him until this end of month, but now only 26th, and i already have the intention to make him out of my mind.

About the move i mentioned, is like that..
two days ago, i was drunk at home then i sms him.
Kiki : i drunk, i drink 6 glass of vodka lime from 12.
Kevin: from 12am til now oni 6 glass and you drunk? (that time is 3smthg afternoon)
Kiki : no, is 12pm til now. i miss you even you dont miss me.
Kevin : miss me..... huh?
Kiki : is a mistake to have feeling toward you.
(thn i fell a sleep, when i woke up, i received..)
Kevin : you drunk and you should to go bed now... dont drink so much. tonight i got job, have to work til very late.

SIGH~!! u see! where got hope one!
the change of his status is told by my frens, then i said, cheh, he complicated is not include me in it lo! then all my friends yelled : if is not you, then is who? you are so close to him!
sigh~ in my mind, i think :"you think he only date me meh! he dates 10 girls a day i also dunno la!"

is this the end? is this the last time i write on this post? i hope is not the last but i also hope it is the last. now i am "ITS COMPLICTED!"